How to Resolve Anger in Marriage

I read for my marriage class in the talk Agency and Anger by Elder Lynn Robbins in April 1998 Ensign. He said, "Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives. We can choose not to become angry. And we can make that choice today, right now: “I will never become angry again.” If you ponder this resolution it is the best thing. I like in the scripture D&C 121:41-42 that says, We are to lead our families by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness, kindness, and meekness, and by love unfeigned. A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We have to control our anger in any relationship. “Let husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, ‘unless the house is on fire’” I think this is so cool and true when we are calm and collected it works better to communicate. 

I read in another talk called "The Tongue of Angels by Elder Holland in April 2007 Ensign. I like that he said that "Our words like our deeds, should be filled with faith, hope, and charity." Some of the things we say can be destructive and venomous when we get angry. I believe we have to think before we say things and not be negative. We should praise our children and speak kind words to them. Also in our marriage as well. We should speak with the tongue of angels. We should strive to  be more like our Savior, and he loves us and speaks to us with a still small voice. Say edifying words always. I love what Elder Orson F. Whitney once said: “The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God, looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience.”6 We should honor the Savior’s declaration to “be of good cheer.”7 (Indeed, it seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any other!) Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not to complain and moan incessantly. We should have the spirit with us and speak kindly to our spouses and family always. 

Marriage is Eternal

A temple marriage is a covenant that bridges death, transcends time, and stretches unbreakable into eternity. Marriage is an important decision on Earth so that we can have eternal families. I liked this quote about marriage that says, "A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met." -Elder David A.  Bednar. I learned that marriage increases the likelihood that fathers and mothers have good relationships with their children. There are doctrines, principles, and applications for marriage that we talked about. The doctrines are temple ordinances, procreation, ordained of God, prayer, forgiveness, promised blessings, and marriage covenant. The principles are men and woman are equal in Christ, sacred roles, Atonement, Plan of Salvation, fidelity, and eternity. The applications are prayer is you pray together, and atonement is the sacrament and temple.

Recently these days people are delaying marriage because they want to get through all of their education and have a good job, but that is not how it should be. We should have a desire to want to get married even when we are still in school, and in the Lord's timing for us. Everyone is on different paths and so we have to be patient for our future. We should not delay marriage or having a family because it is so important. I have learned that you choose your love and love your choice. I have heard that marriage is hard, but it is eternal and so worth it.

“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. you shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” –F. Burton Howard