"Yes It's Supernatural, It's Godly"

I have really loved this class from Brother Williams! I have learned so much that I know will help me in my future life. I was struck by Brother William's comment this week that, "Marriage is not natural, in fact it's supernatural, it's Godly." The blending of two lives takes work, sacrifice, and a lot of love. It's putting your companions' needs above your own. 

In "The Marriage Box" I see that some of the lessons in this chapter on family relations tie into what we gain as we marry, whether it is a blended family or first time marriage. 

"Most people get married believing a myth that 
marriage is a beautiful box full of all the 
things they have longed for; companionship, 
intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is that 
marriage, at the start, is an empty box. You
must put something in before you can take 
anything out. There is no love in marriage.
Love is in people, and people put love in 
marriage. There is no romance in marriage.
You have to infuse it into your marriage. A 
couple must learn the art and form of the 
habit of giving, loving, serving, praising 
keeping the box full. If you take out 
more than you put in, the box will be empty." 
- Author unknown 

Of course, everyone wants their marriage to last, and be healthy and strong.  But there are many couples in blended families.  The U.S. divorce rate is around 45 percent, the blended marriage divorce rate is around 67 percent.  There are so many situations where families are trying to form successful blended families.  As with anything in life there will be rewarding and challenging times.  
Maintaining marriage quality in blended families is really important and communication is key. It's important to spend quality time together, and present a unified parenting approach to children. Arguing in front of children will encourage them to come between you. 

Because marriage is ordained of God, we know we can have our Heavenly Father's help.

 I love the quote by Elder Bruce R. McConkie: "The whole aim and purpose of the gospel is to enable men and women-unified as one in the Lord to create for themselves eternal family units in eternity.  Celestial marriage prepares us for the greatest joy and happiness known to mortals and for eternal life in the realms ahead." 

We watched this music video by Brad Paisley- "He Didn't Have To Be", in class and it fit with our class discussion on blended families.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjO1F6oCab8

Parenting

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them."

-President Thomas S. Monson

"Don't just be reactive, be intentional." I have pondered this thought this week, especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, they can't just sit back and react after children have done something. Teaching the kids right and wrong before a situation arises is the best thing to ensure their safety. As a child my parents always taught me that I need to work hard and do my chores to get what I want in life. So when life gets hard I know that hard work will always benefit me. 

My parents were always good about giving me power to do my best and overcome anything. They let me make choices and if there were consequences then there were. I want to teach my future children that they need to have courage, self esteem, responsibility, cooperation, and be respectful for themselves and others. Every child wants to belong in their family so you have to care for them. I don't want to discourage my children, but notice their progress and efforts. Self esteem comes from good decisions and confidence. I want to have rules for my children that they can follow, and don't be too harsh. I think by teaching my children that if they do some of the work instead of the parent all the time then they learn a lesson from it.

Fatherhood

             Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children.  It is impossible to overestimate the importance of fathers.  Overall girls and boys do better in all areas of their lives with a father who takes an active role in teaching, loving, and supporting their children.  Studies show that if a child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, it will contribute greatly to a child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as achievement in school. Higher self- esteem is another area that is found when a father is fulfilling his role as a father.

 It is a known fact that girls will look for men who has some of the same characteristics of her dad.  If the father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will be drawn to those same characteristics.  Boys will model themselves after their fathers. They need their approval, and will copy the behavior of their fathers.  If a dad is controlling, abusive, or dominating it is likely that a son could copy that behavior.  However, when a father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, a boy will want to emulate those qualities. 

            My experiences with my father growing up were wonderful and I cherished every moment. I grew up in a home full of love, laughter, joy, and hard work. My parents taught me at a very young age that if you want something, you have to work for it. My dad Blair Rigby taught me how to work hard and be determined to do my best. He has always told me to never give up and keep trying, even when it’s hard. He has always been very supportive and attending all my dance recitals, orchestra and choir concerts. My father helps me with anything I need.  I trust him and love him so much. I can talk to my dad about anything that I’m worried about, and he will listen. My dad has paid for my college and apartment since I am the last one at home, which I think is so nice. He is the handyman and fixes my phone or bike. I would say my dad is kind, compassionate, strong, and confident, serves others, and so many other amazing qualities. I don’t know what I would do without my father. He has always been the one that has provided and protected our family. Growing up, I felt a sense of well-being, knowing that at night my dad would come home after a hard day of work, and I could see him. I’m grateful for the relationship I have with my dad that has grown throughout the years. I love my father so much!

  A tradition that has been in my family since I was young is we go on a bike ride every Sunday with our father. I love and cherish the times I have gone on bike rides with my dad because I am able to talk to him about anything. It’s nice to have a time to talk to each other and bond. Also to see the nature, and we always pick asparagus when it is in season on the ride. We used to have a garden and would husk the corn together. I always love going to movies, four- wheeling, cross country skiing, and going out for dinner and ice cream with my dad. My dad loves travelling and so I have enjoyed going on vacations with my father and mother. We plan a big family on trip every year, and it’s so fun! Whether it is Hawaii or camping in Island Park, a family cruise, or a beach house in Florida, the time together is priceless memories.  We love to go to museums, explore new places, eat yummy food and just be together as a family. I love the holidays with my dad because he makes it awesome! My dad would help me with studies including math because it was my hardest subject growing up. Whatever I’m doing with my dad it’s always a blast! He cares so much for me, and so he will do anything to make it the best experience growing up. My dad wants me to have an amazing future husband, so he helps give good advice. I hope I can find a husband that has the same kind of qualities that my father has.